David: I hate to keep harping on this, but I think that the notion of a black album has really cursed us. Ian: Believe me, we're getting some very substantial reports of airplay. I don't think we have to worry about that. Jeanine: You know, it might have been better if the, uh, album had been mixed right. David: Well I suppose you could cry about that, of course it's true. I mean it's true. Jeanine: It wasn't...it was mixed all wrong, wasn't it? Nigel: It was mixed wrong? Jeanine: Yeah... Nigel: Were you there? Jeanine: ...you couldn't hear the ... Nigel: How do you know it was mixed wrong... David: But she's...she's heard the...she's heard the record... Jeanine: No, but I've heard the album. Nigel: So you're judgment is that it was mixed wrong. Jeanine: You couldn't hear the lyrics all over it. David: You don't agree that you can't hear the vocals? Nigel: No, I don't. I do not agree. No. David: Well I think maybe... Nigel: It's interesting that she's bringing it up. David: Well she'd like to hear the vocals. Nigel: I mean it's like it's me saying, you know, you're using the wrong conditioner for your hair. Jeanine: You don't do heavy metal in doubly. Nigel: In what??? In what??? Jeanine: In doubly. Nigel: In Dublin!!! What's that? David: She means Dolby all right? She means Dolby you know? You know perfectly well what she means. Nigel: ...ha ha... David: We shan't recover from this one. We shan't recover from this one. Ian: Oh come on. David: Can I have...can I have the floor for just one moment because I've got, you know, something I'd like to show you. These are, uh, Jeanine's been working on these very hard. These are a new direction... Jeanine: Got a new idea for a new presentation. David:...a new stage look... Jeanine: The signs of the zodiac. David: ...the signs of the zodiac. Jeanine: We needed a new presentation. David: This is a look for Viv; he's a Libra. There's sort of the yin... yang... Jeanine:...yin and the yang... David: ...sort of. Look, this is Nigel. He's...he's uh... Capricorn. Sort of a goat look. Jeanine: I've given you a little bib. Nigel: Is this a joke? David: ...This is the... Nigel: Excuse me, is this a joke? Jeanine: A joke??? David: Just bear with us for one moment please. This...I love this. I wish I were... Derek: Cancer. David: This is your crab face. Give it a chance! Give it a chance. Ian: David. David. David. Please, wait a minute. Have you any idea what it will costs to dress up the band as animals? Jeanine: Oh it don't cost nothing. It really doesn't. David: They're not animals, they're signs of the zodiac. Ian: They're animals. David: It's a way to fight the drabs. You know we've got the drabs. Nigel: Well that's true. I think mine would look better in doubly. If it was done in doubly... Jeanine: Oh shut up!!! David: I knew it wouldn't be easy. I'm quit open minded enough... Derek: David. No, no, David, there are solutions to all problems. I think we know what they are. David: I've yet to hear them. I've yet to hear them... Derek: We can take the rational approach; we can say... Nigel: May I make a suggestion? May I make a suggestion? I've got one other suggestion. David: Well let's hear yours. Let's hear your suggestion. Nigel: Stonehenge. Stonehenge. It's the best production value we've ever had on stage. David: But we haven't got the equipment. We haven't got the equipment. Nigel: Not yet we don't. Let's start... David: We haven't got... Nigel: Please, please just a moment. Musically we all know it. Ian: I don't think it's a bad idea. Nigel: Musically we all know it. Right? No problems musically. We go right on stage. And it's quit simple. This is you know...Ian can take care of this... David: I know what the Stonehenge monument looks like. We don't have that piece of scenery anymore. Nigel: I know, so we build a new one. This is it! Ian: Consider...consider it done. David: So you're just going to take care of it like that. You're going to find someone to design it using that as a plan? Ian: Let's try. Let's try. David: If you can do it, I'll do the number. Marty: Do you feel that in collaboration with David, that you are afforded the opportunity to express yourself musically the way you would like to? Nigel: I think I do you know in my solos. My solos are my trademark. Ian: This looks actually perfect. I mean it's, uh, the right proportions. It'll be this color right? Artist: Yeah. Ian: Yeah. That's...that's...that's just terrific. It almost looks like the real thing. Artist: Well good. Ian: When we get the actual, uh, set. When we get the piece, it'll... it'll follow exactly these specifications. I mean even these contours and everything? Artist: Um, I'm not understanding it. What do you mean "the actual piece?" Ian: Well I mean...I mean when you build the actual piece. Artist: But this is what you asked for isn't it? Ian: What? Artist: Well this is the piece. Ian: This is the piece? Artist: Yes. Ian: Are you telling me that this is it? This is scenery? Have you ever been to Stonehenge? Artist: No. Ian: The triptychs...the triptychs are twenty feet high. You can stand four men up them! Artist: Ian, I was...I was...I was supposed to build it eighteen inches high. Ian: This is insane. This isn't a piece of scenery. Artist: Look, look, look. This is what I was asked to build. Eighteen inches. Right here, it specified eighteen inches. I was given this napkin, I mean... Ian: Forget this! Fuck the napkin!!! David: I do not, for one, think that the problem was that the band was down. I think that the problem may have been...that there was a Stonehenge monument on the stage that was in danger of being crushed by a dwarf. All right? That tended to understate the hugeness of the object. Ian: I really think you're just making a much too big thing out of it. Derek: Making a big thing out of it would've been a good idea. Ian: Nigel gave me a drawing that said eighteen inches. All right? David: I know he did, and that's what I'm talking about. Ian: Now, whether he knows the difference between feet and inches is not my problem. I do what I'm told. David: But you're not as confused as him are you? I mean it's not your job to be as confused as Nigel is. Ian: It's my job to do what I'm asked to do by the creative element of this band. And that's what I did. C'mon... Jeanine: The audience were laughing. Ian: So it became a comedy number. David: Yes it did! Yes it fucking well did, and it was not pleasant to be part of the comedy on stage. Backstage, perhaps, it was very amusing. Derek: Maybe we just fix the choreography. Keep the dwarf clear. David: What do you mean? Derek: So they won't trod upon it. David: I don't think that's the issue. I think it's symptomatic that maybe you're taking on more than you can...uh...uh...uh...handle. Jeanine: It's not exactly the first time you've messed things up is it? David: I mean there's been some, uh, gaping holes in the business end. If this... Ian: Just a minute. Excuse me. This is a band meeting. Right? Are you here for some reason? David: Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. She's with me. Ian: No, but is she now in the band. Is she singing backup or something? Jeanine: I care what happens to the band. David: She's with me all right? Ian: David, whenever a single bump or a ruffle comes into this little fantasy, adolescent fantasy world that you guys have built around yourselves... David: Hey don't knock at me. Don't knock at me. Ian:...you start screaming like a bunch of pansy hairdressers. I mean it's just a problem you know. It get's solved... Jeanine: It doesn't. Ian: ...you can't...you can't live in a bubble. Jeanine: If it got solved, that would be all right, but it doesn't get solved. I mean what do you think happend out there? What got solved tonight? Ian: For one thing that goes wrong...one...for one single thing that goes wrong, a hundred things go right. Do you what I spend my time doing? I sleep two or three hours a night. There's no sex and drugs for Ian, David. Do you know what I do? I find lost luggage. I locate mandolin strings in the middle of Austin! David: Yes. We've seen you. We've seen you do that. Ian: You know? I prise the rent out of the local Hebrews. That's what I do. Jeanine: Well maybe you should get someone else to find the lost luggage, and you should concentrate on what's going on on stage! David: Yes. That's what we're talking about. Ian: You mean you want me to be the road manager? David: All ba...No, all bad ba...uh, could we... Jeanine: What Dave is trying to say, if you'd let him get a word through, is...you could maybe do with some help. Ian: Some help? David: It's very simple. Jeanine: It's that clear. Davide: Maybe there's somebone already in the organization. We don't have to pay insurance. We don't have to pay extra room, etc. Since she's already here, she's already among us, and uh, she can...she is certainly capable of taking over... Ian: She? She? Wait a minute! Wait a minute! David: Well who do you think I'm talking about? Who do you think I'm talking about? Ian: I would...I would have never dreamed in a million years that it was her you were talking about! David: Why not? Jeanine: I am offering to help out here. Ian: No you're not offering to help out. You're offering to co-manage the band with me. Is that it? David & Jeanine: Yes! David: In so many words, that is exactly it. Jeanine: Exactly! Ian: I'm certainly not going to co-manage with some...some...some girl just because she's your girlfriend... David: Don't call her my girlfriend! Ian: All right, she's not your girlfriend. I don't now... Jeanine: Oh girlfriend is it? You couldn't manage a classroom full of kids! I don't know what you're doing managing a band! David: Why don't we just... Jeanine: Oh shut up!!! Ian: Look, look...I...I...this is...this is my position okay? I am not managing it with you or any other woman, especially one that dresses like an Australian's nightmare. So fuck you!!! Jeanine: Fuck you too!!! Ian: And fuck all of you... because I quit! All right? That's it! Good night!!! Derek: Can I raise a practical question at this point? David: Yeah. Derek: We gonna do Stonehenge tomorrow? David: No we're not going to fucking do Stonehenge!!!